Quantum Break Contest Entry

While I prep my review of Quantum Break, I would like to share something with all of you. The Mods on reddit’s Xbox One page held a contest. Write a fan-fiction script based around Quantum Break. Mine sadly didn’t win. However, I’ve been told that it was really well written and I should write something more substantial. I’ve actually been writing a book for the last few years. Today I’m not sharing that with you. What I am sharing, is my contest entry.

It’s long, just as a fair warning. This is 4 days worth of work, and is about the length of a standard 21-22 minute TV show episode. It does contain spoilers and combines the story of Quantum Break with Alan Wake.


Written by
Maxwell Grayson

Based On, Remedy’s Quantum Break



CONTEXT: Four years after the events on Quantum Break, in a semi-alternate timeline. Jack Joyce (played by Shawn Ashmore) is haunted by the actions of his past (the events of Quantum Break). Time was restored temporarily, until somebody, or something, broke it again. Joyce’s powers returned to him, but something was awakened by the original time fracture. Something Dark.

Joyce remembers Alan Wake talking about his experience with the Dark Presence and someone he referred to as Mr. Scratch. He has Nick the Cabbie (from Act 1 of Quantum Break) track down Mr. Wake so he can ask him about his experience.

Jack believe he has his own Mr. Scratch, and another Dark Presence are after him. He feels that Alan Wake holds the key to defeating it. He has to know what Wake meant when he said the Dark Presence he faced was one of many.
Setting: The year 2020. We begin at Riverport University, where Time broke as Jack attempts to find Alan Wake with the help of Nick the Cabbie.




A time fracture fluctuates as the Science Building crumbles again. We view JACK JOYCE (late-30’s) from behind as he watches the building fall for the umpteenth time.
JACK reaches for his phone.

*V.O. – JACK*
> Time was supposed to be fixed.
I should have listened to my brother,
Will, all those years ago. The time
fractures stopped for awhile, but now
they’ve come back.
JACK looks at his phone, then returns it to his pocket.
*V.O. – JACK (CONT’D)*
> When time fractured the first time
something woke up. Alan Wake once wrote
about his experience with what he called
“The Dark Presence.” He said there was more
than one. The “Ocean” beneath Cauldron Lake
was just one of them. He also wrote about Mr.
Scratch, something created from the hate and
negativity surrounding Alan. When Monarch
began a manhunt for me, labeling me a terrorist,
a new “me” was born.
JACK turns to the right and Time Rushes out of frame.
*V.O. – JACK (CONT’D)*
> I didn’t die the Hero. I lived just long enough to see
myself become the Villain.

JACK is looking straight ahead, lost in thought as he drives on the highway leaving town. “NOW LEAVING RIVERPORT” sign is seen. JACK’S phone rings and snaps him back to reality. He answers.
> Hello? (Pause) Nick, how’s my favorite cabbie? (Pause)
JACK takes an exit.
> Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down, Nick. (Short pause)
Seriously? You found him? You actually found him!?
(Pause) Nick, I owe you one. (Pause) Address? Hold
JACK reaches into the glove box for the pen and paper he always keeps on hand. He pulls out a picture of him and his brother, Will, and pauses for a few seconds, remembering all that he lost. He snaps out of it and grabs the pen and pad.
> Alright, Nick, go ahead. (Pause)
JACK writes down the address, looks up and sees his brother standing in the road. JACK swerves as another time fracture fluctuates and Will vanishes. JACK curses as his car comes to a stop and puts it in park.
> Jack? Jack, what’s wrong? Are you okay? Jack?
> Hey, yeah. Sorry. I just, I thought I saw.. Nevermind,
it’s not important. Look, I’ll see you in a few hours.
Thanks for doing this, Nick

NICK is sitting in his cab with a forest in the background, talking to JACK on the phone. His window is partially rolled down.
> Yeah, no problem, Jack. Take care. I’ll see you
soon. (Short pause) Drive safe, alright?
NICK hangs up the phone and looks straight ahead.
> He’s on his way. Why are doing this to him?
Jack has been through enough. Just leave him
alone! His brother is gone, Beth is gone.. He’s
lost everything. Just let him be.
A figure emerges from the shadow of the backseat of NICK’S cab holding a gun. As his face leaves the shadows, it’s JACK JOYCE with an evil grin. As he speaks, an icy chill fills NICK’S spine.
> You don’t need to worry about that. You did
your part. There are things at work here that
you wouldn’t understand, Nick.
As he speaks, NICK shudders. This isn’t JACK. This is something else, like a DOPPELGANGER. His voice is like shards of ice piercing NICK to his very core.
> You said you’d let me go if I got him here.
> Well, Jack is nothing, if not a man of his word.
But you already know that I’m not Jack, so I
can’t let you leave.
JACK (DOPPELGANGER) freezes NICK in a time bubble and fires a single bullet at the side of NICK’S head, then gets out of the car, looks around and walks off as the time bubble collapses and NICK’S blood splatters on the partially rolled down window and sprays out over the ground.

*V.O. – JACK*
> I knew something was wrong. Something in
Nick’s voice was off. I brushed it off because
at that moment, I didn’t care. The person I
had been searching for, for 3 long years had
finally been found. Nick finally found Alan
Wake. He ended up moving to Bright Falls
after his ordeal and rebuilding the cabin on
the lake.

JACK arrives in Bright Falls and drives to the scenic outlook overlooking the cabin. It’s 5 A.M. and the sun is just starting to lighten the sky behind the mountains. There is a chill in the air and JACK makes the lengthy walk down to the cabin.
*V.O. – JACK (CONT’D)*
> I called Nick several times and didn’t get an
answer. I was starting to get concerned, but
would have to wait. I couldn’t be worried
about him. Not when I was so close to
getting the answers I’d been searching for.
JACK knocks on the cabin door. No answer. JACK knocks a second time, louder, and shouts through the door.
> Mr. Wake? My name is Jack Joyce. My friend
Nick told you I was coming? I just have a few
questions, then I’ll leave.
JACK knocks one last time.
> Mr. Wake?
An exhausted looking ALAN WAKE opens the door after a few moments. He is dressed in a house robe and looks as if he hasn’t slept, eaten or bathed in at least a week.
> Jack.. Joyce?
> Yes. Mr. Wake, if I could just have a moment of
your t–
> Time. That doesn’t really mean anything to you,
does it, Mr. Joyce?
ALAN walks back into his cabin, leaving the door open for JACK. JACK follows him inside, closing the door behind him.
> Look, I’m really sorry, Mr. Wake, I–
> Alan. I already know everything about you, Jack.
You might as well just call me Alan. You’re the
one who fixed “time.”
> I don’t– How do you know that?
ALAN begins to get irritated.
> Because I wrote it, Jack! I wrote all about the
“time fracture.” I wrote it back in 2014. I just
never published it. I’m sorry, Jack. I wrote that
as an experiment. I honestly didn’t think it would
happen. Then time broke.
> I don’t understand. What do you mean you “wrote
it in 2014?” Are you saying you made this happen
to me? You made me lose everything? How is that
even possible?
> Jack, this lake.. It’s amazing. When I’m here, what I
write, actually happens. Why do you think I moved
back? I had to test my theory. I finally trapped–
ALAN looks at JACK and stops short, then turns to get some water.
> Nevermind. You wouldn’t understand.
> The Dark Presence. Mr. Scratch. You finally stopped
them, didn’t you? You came back here, to write
them an end.
ALAN looks taken aback and stammers.
> How– How do you know about that? I never wrote
that into your story..
> Mr. Wake– Alan. I followed your story. You’re an
amazing writer. I love your work. More importantly,
I believed you when everybody said you were crazy.
Alan, I need your help. I think when time fractured
back in 2016, something woke up a second Dark
ALAN’S eyes go wide and he turns as pale as a ghost. He starts shaking and a cold sweat covers him. ALAN looks at JACK and swallows hard, dreading the answer to the question he was afraid to ask. ALAN walks over to the TV and turns on the news. A picture of JACK is on the screen.
> …and Jack Joyce is once again at large. You may
remember him as the terrorist behind the Riverport
incident in 2016. He has sent in videos of his murders
from the past five days. He is believed to have killed
at least seven people, including his friend, Ni…
JACK shuts off the TV as a picture of NICK flashes on screen. He stares at the TV.
> Nick..
JACK turns to ALAN.
> Alan, you have to believe me. I didn’t do any of that!
ALAN talks to himself.
> No.. No I trapped him.
ALAN looks at JACK.
> Jack, I can’t help you. Not how you want. All I can do
is give you the advice that reached me when I was
trapped by the Dark Presence. The Old Gods of
Asgard made a song called ‘Balance Slays the Demon.’
ALAN walks over to his cd player and presses play, skips a few tracks and walks back over to JACK.
> Just listen, okay?
Balance Slays the Demon by Old Gods of Asgard (Poets of the Fall) plays.
When the song ends, JACK speaks.
> So, what they’re saying is I need to restore balance.
ALAN laughs slightly as he talks.
> Yes! So you understand. My balance was restoring
my sanity in order to find the light. I had to fight
for four years while trapped by the Dark Presence.
My Mr. Scratch was running loose in my place. This
messes with people, Jack. Once this happens to you,
if you survive.. You won’t be the same, ever. Again.
> In order to beat the Dark Presence and my Mr.
> Yes. You need to restore the balance of time. You
need to find the Dark Presence that’s haunting you
and destroy what it built. Jack, I’m warning you.
When you find it, it will do anything it can to keep
you from succeeding. It wants to be free. It will try
everything it can to shut you down. It’s following
the same pattern the Dark Presence that got to
me did. A manhunt for you, followed by just
trapping you down there. When you find it, and
please, find it fast, do everything you can to keep
your sanity. Alice.. Alice is what kept mine. She was
all I thought about down there. She’s what kept me
ALAN grabs JACK by the shoulder and moves him toward the door.
> Jack, I’m sorry I can’t be more help. You have to do
this alone. Go back to where it all started. That’s
where it will be. You have to write your own ending.
Good luck, Jack.
> Wait, Alan–
ALAN closes and locks the door without giving JACK a chance to talk.
> Alan! What do I do about Mr. Scratch? (Pause) Alan!?
JACK tosses his arms up in exasperation and walks back to his car and drives off.
*V.O. – JACK*
> I came all this way. I couldn’t believe that Nick was
dead. At least Alan gave me some good advice. It’s
not what I was expecting, a cryptic message about
how to beat this. I’m just glad he was there to help
explain it. My new goal was to get back home and
try to find the Dark Presence before it destroyed
everything and got free.


JACK pulls up to a gas pump and begins to fill up, keeping his back to the building. He looks around nervously, trying to get out as fast as possible. Time fractures fluctuate the forest on the other side of the highway.
> C’mon, c’mon..
JACK looks over his shoulder as a car pulls up to the next pump. He avoids eye contact and puts the gas nozzle away as a MAN gets out of the car. The OFFICER recognizes JACK and draws his gun.
> Freeze, Joyce! F.B.I.!
> Please, you don’t understand. It wasn’t me!
JACK raises his hands slowly.
> Shut up, Joyce! Get on the ground, now!
JACK gets on his knees with his hands behind his head.
> Lay down on the ground, Joyce! Now!
The F.B.I. AGENT trains his gun on JACK’S back and calls over his radio.
> This is Special Agent James Kelly. I have Joyce.
Requesting backup at the Gas Station off I-87 just
passed Highway marker 185.
> I’m sorry about this.
JACK traps SPECIAL AGENT KELLY in a Time Bubble, takes his gun and drives off.

Jack hits the steering wheel and dashboard as he drives.
> Shit! (Short pause) God dammit! I can’t believe this
is happening. Why me? What did I do to deserve
this? I fixed time! This shouldn’t be happening!
(Pause) Fine. If Mr. Scratch wants to play this way,
wants to mess with my life.. I’ll show him exactly
who he’s messing with!
JACK grips the wheel tightly and floors it.

Officers are gathered in a briefing room. SPECIAL AGENT JAMES KELLY (S.A. KELLY) is standing up front with the CHIEF OF POLICE (C.O.P.).
> So, there you have it. Joyce has officially
resurfaced. Special Agent James Kelly has more
details. Special Agent Kelly?
> Thank you. A lot of you may not be aware of this,
but Jack Joyce has certain abilities. These abilities
make him more dangerous than you could imagine.
S.A. KELLY plays slides showing Monarch Time Technology.
> Monarch developed the ability to control time
itself. An experiment went bad and Jack Joyce
was imbued with the ability to manipulate time
in certain ways. Don’t be surprised when you
meet him, if your weapon suddenly goes missing.
Slideshow ends.
> We believe Joyce is heading back home. To
Riverport. Riverport is extremely unstable.
We also believe that the reason Joyce is
going back, is because he built a new way to
harness his ability to manipulate time.
A time machine.
Officers laugh and cough, talking amongst themselves.
> Hey, shut it! Monarch built one, so why not
Joyce? He’s the one who took them down.
Who’s to say he didn’t build one of his own?
Sorry, Special Agent Kelly. Continue.
The room quiets down and all eyes are back on S.A. KELLY.
> Thank you, Chief. As I was saying, we don’t
know to what end Joyce is trying to go
achieve, but whether he goes back in time,
or forward in time, he can’t be allowed to
use that machine. It could end everything.
He is extremely dangerous. As you all know,
he’s already killed at least seven people.
Apprehend Joyce if possible, but do not
hesitate to pull the trigger if he tries anything.
He won’t hesitate to kill you, given the chance.
> You have your orders. You are to assist Special
Agent Kelly in any way he requires. The F.B.I.
have the lead on this one. Listen to Special Agent Kelly.
Apprehend Joyce if you can, but don’t take any
unnecessary risks. Dismissed.


JACK walks with determination to the outside of the Science Building, where everything started for him four years ago, and stops. His personal Ground Zero. The Science Building is still caught in the infinite loop of it’s own destruction.
> Scratch! Let’s end this! If you want me out of
the way, then you have to do it yourself! Trying
to frame me isn’t going to cut it! (Pause) Get
out here, Scratch! Show yourself!
Officers and S.A. KELLY come out from all angles and surround JACK, guns drawn.
> On your knees, Jack! Now!
> This doesn’t concern you, Agent Kelly.
> Wrong, Jack. You killed seven people. You
broke time itself, Jack! I’ve been hunting you
for four long years. It’s over, Jack! Give up or
I WILL shoot you! It ends here, Jack, one way
or another.
Clapping can be heard from the shadows. A figure emerges. All the officers start to panic.
> Hello, Jack. Agent Kelly.
> What– the– fuck… Don’t move! Either of you!
> Scratch!
SCRATCH looks sternly over at JACK. He starts acting like Simon Phoenix from Demolition Man without the hyper-attitude. More calm, but just as insane.
> No, no, no. That’s such an old name. I think
I prefer Jack. Agent Kelly, I’m sorry. I really
I could let you get him out of my way, but
you see, you’re in my house. You just.. Barged
right in. I can’t let that just slide, now can I?
I also can’t let you kill Jack. See, he’s been a
pain in the ass lately, and I’ve been waiting
for this moment. They say that sex is one of
the most euphoric sensations a human can
experience. Well, it looks like Jack, here, is
about to get fucked and I’m the one that’s
going to enjoy it.
SCRATCH draws his gun on JACK.
> Goodbye, Jack. It’s been fun.
As SCRATCH goes to pull the trigger, JACK puts up a Time Shield and the officers open fire. SCRATCH puts up a Time Shield as well. Bullets fly off the shields and the officers and S.A. KELLY stop firing, unsure of what’s happening. SCRATCH grins at JACK.
> This is between you and me! Leave them out of it!
> Oh, Jack. That’s sweet. You actually care about
the people that have spent all their time trying to hunt
you down. You know I can’t let them live.
Time freezes momentarily and a blur surrounds Jack. Suddenly he hears several gunshots. Time unfreezes and all officers except for S.A. KELLY drop dead with gunshot wounds. S.A. KELLY’S gun is missing along with the rest of them.
> Fuck! God dammit!
S.A. KELLY rushes JACK and get trapped in a Time Bubble, another blur passes behind him. The bubble collapses and S.A. KELLY collapses, screaming in agony. His Achilles tendons have both been severed.
> Congratulations, Agent Kelly. You just got all
these men killed, because you just wouldn’t
listen to Jack. He told you he didn’t do it.
SCRATCH shoots S.A. KELLY in the both shoulders. S.A. KELLY screams in agony.
> Scratch, enough! He hasn’t done anything!
JACK pulls his gun and points it at SCRATCH.
> Jack. Come on. We’re the same, you and I.
I’m just everything that you wished you could
do all these years. Didn’t your friend Alan tell
you that? He would know.
SCRATCH shoots out both S.A. KELLY’S kneecaps and JACK shoots at SCRATCH, who Time Dodges out of the way. SCRATCH Time Dodges back and shoots S.A. KELLY in the back of the head and shoots at JACK.
> No! Dammit, Scratch!
Both start using Time powers and shooting. SCRATCH shouts over the distance between them.
> What you don’t seem to know, Jack, is that
I know exactly how this will end. I’ve seen it all!
And let me tell you, it doesn’t end pretty!
> I’ve changed the timeline once, I can do it again!
JACK and SCRATCH run out and rush each other. When their time fields collide time reverses and fast-forwards at random intervals all around them. They are trapped in their own Time Bubble. SCRATCH takes advantage of JACK being distracted and shoots him in the thigh and shoulder.
> Enough, Jack! I already told you, this doesn’t
end well for you!
SCRATCH aims his gun at JACK, but has run out of bullets. He starts to strangle JACK with bare hands.
> Jack, you blame me for ruining everything. For
killing Nick. Taking your life away from you. But
let’s not forget who broke time! You made me,
Jack! It’s only fitting it should end this way! Here.
You, me.. It’s time to die, Jack!
JACK watches his surroundings and takes his opportunity, grabs his gun and shoots SCRATCH in the head. He coughs as SCRATCH lets go of him, falling backward. The Time Bubble collapses around them, leaving JACK stranded back where it all started. 2016 in front of the Science Building.
> You’re right, Scratch. I started this, and it’s only
fitting that this is where it should end. To fix
time, I need to stop time from breaking. I need
to end this before it starts.



Pan down from the top of Monarch H.Q.
*V.O. – JACK*
> I couldn’t wait four years. I had to do this here.
Now. I remembered what Will told me when I
saved him. If I end it here, it could unravel all
of time. It could destroy everything. But even if
it does destroy everything, at least Scratch won’t
have existed. The Dark Presence will never be
set free. It was worth the risk.
Pan to show the interior or Monarch.
*V.O. – JACK (CONT’D)*
> Will, Beth.. Everyone was gone. Everything I
tried to save was taken from me. The only
chance I had to actually save them, was here.
Right where everything began. In 2016. I had
to let go to save them all. I had to die so that I
could live. (Pause) So they could live.
JACK is wearing a hat to hide his face from cameras. He walks up to the front desk.
> Hi, I’m here to see Charlie Wincott. He doesn’t know
I’m coming. It’s a surprise for his birthday.
The security guard glances up, uninterested and sighs, speaking like he’s bored.
> Name?
> R-Ronald. Ronald Creston.
The SECURITY GUARD points to a piece of paper.
> Sign the sheet. Charlie is on the 5th floor. Can’t miss
his office, lots of servers and computers.
JACK signs the sheet as Ronald Creston.
> Thanks.
> Yeah, yeah. Just go.
JACK takes the elevator up to CHARLIE’S office.
CLOSE UP on JACK as the elevator door closes and puts him out of view.

JACK (2016) is with PAUL SERENE as SERENE is stepping into the Time Machine. JACK (2020) runs in with his gun out.
*JACK (2020)*
> Stop!
*JACK (2016)*
> What the hell?
*JACK (2020)*
> Stop. You can’t do this. I don’t have time to
explain right now, but you have to trust me,
or, you. Look, I’m you. The machine works.
Serene destroys everything, Jack!
*JACK (2016)*
> What are you talking about? Paul?
JACK (2016) turns to SERENE.
> Jack? What the fuck? I have no idea what he’s
talking about! Come on, we can do this! We
need. To do this! This is for the benefit of
humanity, Jack!
*JACK (2020)*
> Serene, you killed my brother! You killed Beth!
You took everything from me! All because you
convinced me to push that button!
JACK (2020) points his gun at SERENE.
*JACK (2020) (CONT’D)*
> Not this time, Paul. This time, I choose to end
my story before it begins. Jack, when this is
over, a man named Charlie Wincott is going to
contact you and tell you everything. I would do
it myself, but I won’t exist after this. My future
won’t exist. You’ll have everything that Paul
took away from us. You just have to trust me.
JACK (2020) doesn’t wait for an answer and pulls the trigger, killing SERENE with a bullet to the head. JACK (2020) starts to fade and looks at JACK (2016) and smiles.
*JACK (2020) (CONT’D)*
> Take care of yourself. Take care of Will and Beth
for me. Good luck with your new future, Jack.
As JACK (2020) fades to nothing. He closes his eyes as he feels Dark Presence from his time let go and fade into nothing. WILL comes out, having seen everything.
> Jack? Was that- (Pause) My god. It’s actually over. You
did it, you stopped it.
WILL hugs JACK who is just standing, dumbfounded at what just happened, unable to speak.
Zooms out slowly as WILL and JACK talk, leaving the building after WILL sabotages the machine so it will never work again.

Scenes of CHARLIE and BETH meeting WILL and JACK, all of them taking down Monarch from the inside and their lives together in the aftermath.


WORDS APPEAR: (First QUANTUM BREAK, then after 2 seconds, :AFTERMATH.)




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